The Day Wufei Tried to Take Over The World
by The Grim Wombat
Summary: What happens when two teenage girls are high on caffiene at 1:03 in the morning? This! [PG-13 for a REALLY GOOD REASON...] (Trigun/Bebop/Digimon/Pokemon/Sailor Moon/Ranma/Tenchi/Gundam W/Zelda/Election 2000 Crossover)


Backstory: Boredom, soda, anime, and Weird Al do not mix well.It was 1:03 in the morning, and it was at a sleepover with one of my friends.And we got this idea.Don't read this if you have a fragile mind…

Oh, by the way, George is the son of Grandpa Hino and Michiru.There's a story behing that, too.It's called "The Old Man and the Sea."But I don't have that to post.But maybe someday…

Anywho, READ IT!!!

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The Day Wufei _Tried_ to Take Over the World….. 

By Miyako and Hotaru

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It all started when Vash the Stampede tried to learn how to cook. The Sailor Senshi, the Trigun People, and the Digi-Destined were all locked in an RV. 

They all got out of the RV and Duo said, "The God of Death is back from Hell!" 

Hotaru hid behind the nearest Haruka. 

"You're scaring the children!" Michiru said, pointing toward the 3 children (Katarina, Sasami and Hotaru) hiding behind Haruka. 

Hotaru walked forward."Wait a minute, what is so scary about death?"

Everybody looked at her. "Death is bad."

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All the Gundam people were off being spacey when they heard, "Hey, how do you start this thing?" 

They looked up to see a very strange looking girl sitting in Wufei's gundam.

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Meanwhile, on the set of Sailor Moon, "I am Sailor Wufei!I will take over the world and control your minds! You will do my bidding!"

"That's not your line!" the director yelled for the fiftieth time.

"What did I do this time?" Wufei asked. 

The director shrugged. "I don't know. I just want to see you do it again."

"I quit!" Wufei yelled. "I'm going to take over the world!" He struck a dramatic pose. "For the colony! And oppressed ants everywhere!"

The director stared as Wufei ran out of the building shrieking like a banshee. The shriek was so loud that all the way on the other side of the world, Hotaru heard it and shuddered.

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A 30 year old man ran across the screen followed closely by Grandpa Hino.

"George, you need to take a bath now! It's been 30 years since you've bathed!" he yelled.

Suddenly, Hilde Schbeiker showed up and Hotaru killed her because Hotaru had this obsession with the god of death that only the goddess of death could understand. Then Duo took Hotaru back to Hell with him and they did very explicit things.

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Somewhere, in the deep recesses of the RV, the Digidestined were having a picnic. With food and everything necessary for a picnic, which includes things other than food.

Matt and Tai were in the bathroom, also doing very explicit things.

TK walked up to the door."Matt, whatcha doin'?And what's with all the giggling?"

"Nothing," said Matt. "Go away."

TK walked back to the others.Mimi and Joe had suddenly disappeared, and were doing very explicit things under the RV.Tentomon and Izzy were busy under the table.Sora and Yaten were off somewhere, most likely doing very explicit things, if we know Yaten.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this special news bulletin.

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Wufei stood there in a sailor fuku, pointing, shrieking, and commanding pink bunnies to wreak havoc upon the state of Florida.He looked at the camera and said, "I demand a recount!"

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_We now return to your regularly scheduled program._

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Spike Spiegel looked at the screen, turned to Faye and said, "This may be our last day alive, so let's…"

"Yes?" she asked.

"Throw a wild disco party!" he yelled.

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Meanwhile, down in hell, Duo and Hotaru were being _very interesting_with each other.

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Somewhere in space, Usagi pushed a button in Nataku.The self-detonation device that just so happened to be implanted in Darien's brain blew up.And all rejoiced.

At that exact point in time, Michiru stepped between Grandpa Hino and George."He's 30 years old!He doesn't have to take a bath if he doesn't want to!" she said.

Suddenly, a giant worm named Stevejumped up out of theground and ate Michiru in one bite.Grandpa Hino died of a heart attack.

"I'm free!" yelled George.Then he died of cardiac arrest.

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Hotaru and Duo had five children by now and were still going at it.Their children had found some very civilized pets.Muchmore civilized than their parents.Their pets were Mr. Hoppy the pink inflatable kangaroo, and Quincy the inflatable duck.

Michiru watched from heaven in disgust as Hotaru did these terrible things with Duo.Maxwell.The god of death.

As Darien's overly crammed with useless knowledge brain covered the world, Usagi and the other senshi, wherever they were, rejoiced.

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Katarina and Sasami stared in horror at what they saw.Wufeis and Kuronekos covered television sets across the world. 

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Wufei and Kuroneko stood on top of the Empire State Building, Wufei's scepter in hand.Rain poured down around them and lightning pierced the sky.Wufei stood cackling as rabid pink bunnies chased helpless individuals down the street.

"I am queen of the bunnies!" yelled Wufei.

"No," said Usagi, suddenly appearing, "I am queen of the bunnies!!!"

"Fine!" said Wufei."You can be queen of the bunnies, and we will rule together.Isn't that right, Kuroneko?"

"Mya…"

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Quincy and Hoppy were busy in the kitchen.

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Meanwhile, Ash and Pikachu were busy at Hyrule castle, while Link and Zelda were in Pallet Town.At Ash's house.

Ash's mom walked into the room."Oh my.There are two elven people in my son's bed.Doing things.Ash, honey, where are you?"There came no answer, except for a muffled thumping from the bed.She left the room and went to Professor Oak's house.And did things that Ash will never know about.(Or will he?…)

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Vash went into the RV to cook something, but stopped when he saw all the people.Being weird.Then he got an idea, and started looking for Wolfwood.He found him on the couch. With Milly.He went to find Meryl.He found her in her room, with her typewriter and Marril, the Pokémon.Being weird.He went to sulk.

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Back in hell, Kata-chan and Sasami were huddled in a corner, watching the people of hell.Hoppy and Quincy floated up to heaven, where Hilde was waiting for them with cookies and fruit.She is a fruity person.

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Meanwhile, on the Bebop, everyone was having an explicit disco party.Except for Jet, who was huddled in a corner, complaining about how he gets no love.Suddenly, Vash appeared, and yeah, stuff happened.

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The RV rolled down the hill, and Joe and Mimi were revealed!!!

We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin.

"Mya…"

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_And now back to your regularly scheduled program._

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Back in Florida, Wufei was sulking because he did a hand recount.Nader won.The recount took him four years.That's why we haven't heard anything for so long.Wufei and Usagi can't count, and Kuroneko is a cat, so it took a while.If Ami had been there, it would have taken five minutes, but with Usagi and Wufei, who can't even add 1 + 1, it took a while.Kuroneko had to count the votes.

Kuroneko decided to find Mickey and Minnie Mouse.Since they were taking over Disneyworld, it was logical to do.They didn't want mice ruling the world for them.Kuroneko killed the mice.Pluto (the dog) chased Kuroneko around Disneyworld, until Kuroneko turned around and said, "Mya, see, mya." 

Pluto turned white and died of shock.

Wufei killed off 98 Degrees, *NSYNC, and the Backstreet Boys.But he kept Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera as his love slaves.

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Meanwhile, at the Tendo Dojo, everyone was struck with bubonic plague and died.They all went to hell, except for Kasumi, who went to heaven and cooked with Michiru and Hilde.

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Back in hell, Quatre walked in on Duo and Hotaru.

"Hotaru, I'm lonely," he said.

Sheturned around."Good for you.Go find someone to play with."

"Quatre, come join us," Duo said.

Hotaru looked up at him."Ummmmmmmm, are you sure?"

He smiled and nodded.

Michiru watched in horror as her husband did very nasty things with her daughter.She wasn't happy with either of them.

Kata-chan and Sasami floated up to heaven."Okaasan, okaasan, do you see what Hotaru is doing?" they both yelled.

"Yes, I see.Let's go cook something with the others," Michiru said.

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Meanwhile, Quincy and Hoppy were busy.Not busy busy, shopping busy.With Hilde.Just thought you should know.

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In the Crystal Palace, Luna and Legato were playing a very special game of tag.Their own way of playing tag.

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Back on the Bebop, Vash and Jet were busy.Ed and the dog were also busy.Faye and Spike were busy.Not that kind of busy, you sickos!Faye and Spike were doing disco.Saturday Night Fever disco.

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Meanwhile, at Mickey Mouse's house, Kuroneko was taking to Wufei."You know, I really have a plethora of vocabulary.I just never use it.People never really listen to me, so all I ever say is Mya.But you're the first person I've ever been able to open up to.Because you're dumb enough to listen to a cat."

Wufei stared at him blankly."Who are you?You're a weird evil cat, huh? You have to help me take over the world."

"Yes, exactly, Wufei."

"Hey, you can talk!"

"I've been talking to you for the past three hours."Suddenly, the robot mafia of Kuroneko beat up Wufei.

Then, the toxic rain of Darien (which only came around every four years after the incident), came and killed everyone except for the people in the RV and the folks on the Bebop.

Since President Nader was killed, Wufei became president.Of the entire world.He TPd the White House lawn and had many children with Christina and Britney.

They lived happily ever after, until the milk went bad and they all died of calcium deficiency.Except for Kuroneko.

The hole in the ozone layer grew and grew until the earth burned to a crisp.But since Kuroneko does not breathe or eat, he lived and became the emperor of the nothingness that was the universe.

# MYAAAA…

Translation: The end.

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So, did you like it?Are you scared yet?Tell me what you think!!!Review, or feel the wrath of the Cheese Fork of Doom™!!! 


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